-
Having a crappy kid has a direct correlation to your bunks reputation.
Therefore, if your kid is 4’1” and thinks reaching into a
barrel of ice will make his hand numb, maybe it is time for your bunk
to step up from that BROKE ASS $150 wad.
- If your bunk gets its food last, then your bunk is as valued as one
of my 35 Sam Horn Rookie Cards.
- If you still use camp blankets, then come buy my new, cool Apple IIE
- If you are complaining about the quality of the food consider the
campers eat worse than Laura Flynn Boyle
- If you are told there are no more card tables for your bunk to use,
then for the last time, YOUR BUNK SUCKS
- Don’t go into town to buy a newspaper, the old farts will be
done with them by 6:30AM. In fact Sammy London will even wake you up
when he is done.
- Do not be the moron to precede or follow a donation made by George
Kane.
- If you have a weak donation, find 4 other people in your situation
and make 1 good donation to avoid feeling cheap.
- Bring your own toilet paper, unless of course you do not plan on taking
a shit.
- If there is a man sitting behind the Messhall who was white on Monday
and appears to be black by Thursday, IT IS NOT THE ALCOHOL, he really
was once white.
- If you want to drink past 11PM go to the youngest bunk (2B), all other
bunks are completely washed up
- If a little man with Albert Einstein hair and argyle socks tells you
to “GO FUCK YOURSELF,” do not be offended, it is his way of
saying “Hello”
- Do not play any rap music within a 30 yard radius of 4B
-
Make sure you go up to all Old Timers who only have girls for children
and ask them if they have any boys
- Mao and Brighton Lew are the same person
- Veggie no longer likes to be called by his nickname, so just call him
Vegetable
- Little Abbott is much bigger than Big Abbott
- If you buy the West End House hat, T-Shirt and collared shirt then you
are no different than those assholes in Times Square with the “I
love NY” T-shirt
- If bored go up to Evan Madoff and ask what happened with the Crunchies
at The Dairy Hut
- Your bunk is officially washed up the minute the majority of people
say “Turn off the lights already”
- If Brett Wilensky is in your bunk, bring a padlock
- Remember you can always play golf but you can not always be at camp,
so do not be one of those fools who leaves camp for a day to play at Hick
Hills Country Club
- If your kid can barely speak English then this is the last time I am
going to tell you “YOUR BUNK SUCKS”
- If you need a lifeguard that will save you if you drown, go to your
local YMCA
- HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
FAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHK
HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
In English means Him, Him, Fuck him
Finally
and most importantly,
If your mattress sucks, so do you
